Nerve Dating Confessions

So how are you sure they aren't just dating? As in when you date several guys, not really thinking of marriage?

I would reiterate the question asked by gag but I'm sure you likely have reasons for concluding that it's about race not commitment in general. I'm a white woman and I have heard white guys talking about having slept with a woman of one race or another as though it's a special kind of notch on the bedpost like dating a stripper or something. Without minimizing the special implications of racism in your case, I'd say it's another example of male objectification of women. You need to find yourself the right kind of guy. One who isn't going to put you in any category, who is going to get to know you as a whole person. I'd put it right on the line at the outset. Before you sleep with a guy perhaps you should ask whether they're curious about what it would be like to sleep with a black woman. In my view, if the answer is yes, then you know it's not somewhere you need to go. The right answer is "No, I'm curious about what it would be like to sleep with you". I hope you find the right guy.

@Gag. You can never be sure. I do date some guys without thinking about marriage, however, I never look at a guy I'm physically attracted to and think: "I'm attracted enough to this person to fuck and hang out with them casually for a little while, but because they're not the race I really want, the prospect of marriage will never be on the table." I know this is what many white man think, but you're right that unless you never really know, unless you ask up front. This brings me to the response fro AOS. While it would get me some kind of answer to grill a guy up front about his true racial preferences, I know it's a turn off. I think it would turn a guy off even if he was genuinely attracted to black women because who wants to be asked about marriage before they've been with someone long enough to know if they even want a basic committed relationship with them? But I'm ready to reject white men at first sign of their interest out of fear that I'm just some notch on their "exotic fuck" belt.

I like black women and I'm a white guy. I gotta tell you I am looking to try something different. And what's wrong with that? What does it have to do with race? I am not thinking about marriage when I'm checking you out.

If you could think for a second about what it feels like for a quality black women to feel that she is thought of as good enough to fuck but not good enough to marry then you'll know what's wrong with your "trying something different".

Um. Don't you hear yourself? You're looking for someTHING different. No wonder, op is distrustful. She's not a thing. She's a person. Each person is different to every other. No person is something. We are all someone.