Nerve Dating Confessions

i feel the same way. my boyfriend is a dream. except he doesnt want me to travel, tour with my band or live my life the way i did before i met him. This is also why my feelings for him rollercoaster around as the day is long. its been a year and a half of this. I love him , and its great to be with him, but people should give each other more space and freedom in order to appreciate each other more. I would stay with him forever if he just relaxed and let me do my thing without worrying.

@nt - i feel the same as you! Sometimes I want the freedom to go on these trips, meet new people and have fun, without him. He knows he can trust me but I know jealousy and worry would not only get to him, but I would feel guilty about putting him through it too. I would love to do some things on my own, but be able to come back and see my boyfriend without any weird feelings. Is this inappropriate for couples in long-term relationships? (2 years in our case) There are some events coming up which I think I would enjoy more if I were single, but at the same time I'm worried if I acted on this and ended the relationship I'd be making a big mistake, after all he is half of my life and I do love him. I don't know what to do!

I think a relationship requires sacrifices. Ask yourself to frame the question in the contrast: would you tolerate him taking trips on his own, potentially meeting other people, and potentially having romantic, emotional or sexual connections with others? Would you find it acceptable if he started splitting his time between you and someone else? What if he was always unavailable when you were available?... clearly you can't have the same life you had before the relationship if you wanted to have children. Family demands the greatest sacrifices of all and although modern society has begun to relabel this as being claustrophobic and controlling... I don't think you can really maintain your independence and have a long term relationship at the same time. You can't have everything all the time, and anyone who tells you that you CAN have everything all the time is lying to you. There simply is not enough time for that! Life is short, you have to decide what is important, and what isn't. When it gets more complicated you have to decide what is more important and what is less important. If you don't think he doesn't occasionally feel the same way you're deluding yourselves. If you don't think he might not rather be playing video games or spending time alone sometimes - you're deluding yourselves.

i feel like you should go on your instincts and enjoy yourself. life is about growing and giving yourself new experiences. He should learn to accept it. a relationship should not feel like prison. your bf has to get more mature about it and let you have fun.. maybe he can go on a trip himself without you.. freedom is the best thing you can have. its above love. someone robbing you of it, is robbing you of your birth right. good luck to you! im slowly making my boyfriend learn to relax and trust me , but if he cant accept it, then im gonna suffocate on his love.