Nerve Dating Confessions

Fake it til you make it. Ask some dudes out. Personally I would love to lavish my attentions and affections on a woman who appreciates and values the relationship we invest in together. The vast majority of the world is average or within 1 standard deviation, and dating isn't an activity solely for the elite or the shamelessly desperate. Wqhen you reject the notion that asking out a guy will seem desperate, and you embrace confidence too - existing comfortably in that happy medium... You'll have all the tools you need to succeed. Consciousness is the special ingredient that allows people to be self aware, and while self awareness can become a litany of mediocrity, you can also switch up the narrative and redefine yourself as an ideal - someones ideal. You're not just above average, you're a stand out of rthe crowd hotty who is approachable. Your personality isn't dull, you're down to earth. You're not shy, you prioritize the friends you've already got. :)

you got a brain and a smile? thats all you need. keep your back straight and your chin up too. apparently posture attracts people more than we think. good luck.

Op, I am facing similar issues. My female friends tell me that I am a good guy, fun to be around and a great sense of humor and blah blah blah. I would I have thought that I was average looking, but I don't seem to get much of a look from women that would indicate they would be receptive to me coming and talking to them. So apparently I fall further than the 1 deviation. Therefore I lack the confidence to approach them, and I lack the out going personality to just make it happen. So I just sit by idly hoping that that above average type is out going enough to approach me. So I feel your dilemma.

I try to work on my self-esteem more, but it's hard because my best friends who I go out with are knockouts and also very confident.Naturally all the guys gravitate towards them, and I'm just kinda there in the background. I also really hate when the guys who tried to talk to my friends and failed, come to me probably thinking I'm tolareble enough.

erc, sitting around waiting for a girl to come talk to you is not a very good strategy :). I find that the best way to approach a woman is to simply introduce yourself to her, and have a nice, simple conversation. I actually think it's kind of cute when the guy is a little shy but still approaches me.

@op-it's tough, because dating success breeds confidence, but it is hard to get confidence without the success. Oye. @mym- yea, I am aware my strategy sucks :(, the problem is that I feel like I suck. And I think that could walk up to a girl and start a conversation if I felt she was remotely interested. I keep waiting for a smile back or some kind of cue, but I never seem to get it. So I don't approach. I am kind of at a loss these days.

Obviously you are going to fuck only guys who are popular, because being fucked by unattractive guys feels like being violated, and there is a complication: there are many average girls who deserve to fuck only cool, popular men, around 4-5 for each of those guys. However much you deserve a special boyfriend just for you, you should start thinking about talking about being open to an FWB situation, because that's how you can get at least a share of the time of a cool, attractive guy. But you should insist for a fixed commitment, like every Wednesday and Friday, if you can swing it. Good luck for a long, happy FWB shared between you and the guy you want!

Whatever you do op, ignore the troll DFG!

well if the alternative is between feeling sick with putting up with the attentions of a loser, or cats plus ice cream and TV, or Wed and friday nights with a cool. sexy guy whom you are attracted to, many women would known which is better for them and their mood.

Seriuosly? I'm going to fuck only cool, popular men? What is this, high school?

If when you go out with your knockout friends "all the guys" hit on them, they must be pretty confident, cool, popular guys, those who know they have a chance even with knockouts. The guys who are not interesting enough or not good looking enough don't even try so shy and average looking guys are simply invisible to you; no woman wants to be touched or even looked at by an unattractive loser. You'd probably feel sick if they dared to creep you out by hitting on you. It is much better for you to take positively the interest of the confident, cool, popular guys who don't manage to get laid with your knockout friends, and instead of feeling annoyed that you are their second choice, feel good that you have a good chance for a relationship with them, even if it is not an exclusive one. Being tolerable enough is a pretty good opportunity to get some long term action with attractive guys, while so many average girls devote their evenings to cats plus TV and ice cream, or push themselves to stand a date with a lamer.

As to high school, that you hate so much that confident, cool, popular guys hit on you only after after hitting on your knockout friends is a story so typical of high school "life". Good comic on high school attitudes lasting long http://catandgirl.com/?p=1114

If you want to meet men, go someplace where the odds are in your favor. Go sign up for flight lessons. I'm not kidding. Go study for a pilots license. You'll have a ton of fun and you'll meet a ton of guys. Depending on where you live this is not overly expensive, and two weeks in you will have lots of CFI's lined up to take you up.

Cycling is also a sport that's really heavily slated in favour of men. Take up racing bikes and you'll have your pick of the tight-bodied litter.