Nerve Dating Confessions

January 15, 9:51AM Last night I glanced at the screen of my bf's cell and there was a text from a girl he has never talked about that said "I feel kind of sick...hope I don't get you sick..." When I asked him about it he called me a psycho and said she was a girl he worked with. He is a chronic liar and has a history of cheating in past relationships. I know that all I can do is take his word for it, but now I'm suspicious and don't know how to get past it. CAN RELATE (8) CAN'T RELATE (0) FLAG FOR ABUSE

19 comments

Seems like you have no reason to trust him. Leave now. Cheaters overreact like that, people who don't have anything to hide are generally forthcoming and they don't call names just because you're "wrong".

sfo commented on Jan 15 13 at 11:17 am FLAG FOR ABUSE

Putting his word over your instincts is just about the dumbest thing you can do. You know, we know, this means cheating, and when backed into a corner, cheaters lay the blame on you. Then you internalize the blame, and the denial just gets deeper and deeper, and he'll just keep doing you dirt.

kk commented on Jan 15 13 at 11:24 am FLAG FOR ABUSE

Why did you get involved with a guy who lies and cheats in the first place??

why commented on Jan 15 13 at 11:50 am FLAG FOR ABUSE

Don't victim blame.

sfo commented on Jan 15 13 at 11:54 am FLAG FOR ABUSE

He's cheating, get out while you still can.

EMK commented on Jan 15 13 at 1:11 pm FLAG FOR ABUSE

It's not possible that she was just talking about not wanting to get him sick when they next work together?

OP commented on Jan 15 13 at 1:30 pm FLAG FOR ABUSE

He is cheating on you. Clear signs. Crystal clear. I'm a cheater and I'm telling you he is cheating.

Ph commented on Jan 15 13 at 1:38 pm FLAG FOR ABUSE

The guy I sit next to at work is sick. He offered the same sentiments to me.... in the 8 hours we see each other all day, he didn't call me after work. Furthermore, unless there was some serious snogging happening I don't see why it would require after work contact for that. Don't be blind to it, follow your gut and don't stay with someone you know is a chronic liar.

pvg commented on Jan 15 13 at 2:03 pm FLAG FOR ABUSE

he is a chronic liar and has a history of cheating? and freaked out when you asked him about the text? um... yeah he is either cheating or is being a shitty boyfriend by getting so mad at you, so either way he's being an ass

g5 commented on Jan 15 13 at 2:34 pm FLAG FOR ABUSE

I'm a cheater and so is he. Bolt while you can.

Yt commented on Jan 15 13 at 2:40 pm FLAG FOR ABUSE

Craziness. Don't do this. Don't stay with him because you live together or you want something from him or have irrational hopes for the future. Draw the line now and don't waste your time.

sls commented on Jan 15 13 at 3:47 pm FLAG FOR ABUSE

A few minutes of research revealed that a) he just became friends with her on Facebook yesterday, and b) according to her linkedin profile she doesn't work at the bar where he works, but at a nearby bar that he frequents. I just wish I could find some conclusive proof.

OP commented on Jan 15 13 at 4:21 pm FLAG FOR ABUSE

definitely, get out of it now

mhm commented on Jan 15 13 at 4:35 pm FLAG FOR ABUSE

Text message aside, why are you with someone who is a chronic liar and has a history of cheating. Seems like a receipt for trouble anyway. Seems to me like you have your proof.

@op commented on Jan 15 13 at 4:39 pm FLAG FOR ABUSE

The fact that he overreacted and called you a "psycho" is a surefire sign that he cheated. He's obviously trying to deflect the blame back onto you. And according to what you found out, she doesn't even work with him, so you can add lying to the cheating. I know it's hard and you'll want to justify staying with him because you don't have "concrete proof", but everyone on this thread would convict him if we were the jury.

jl commented on Jan 15 13 at 7:10 pm FLAG FOR ABUSE

It's the gaslighting and the calling you "psycho" that's the problem. You are not psycho just for asking a question. Listen to these people and get out now, or he WILL drive you crazy. Don't let him. Get out of there NOW. People who are not cheaters go overboard to reassure their partners because we love them and we want them to feel safe with us and trust us, so we earn their trust. People who are cheaters want what they want and just don't want to get caught, which means they don't have a conscience, which means that there are even worse things than cheating that they can and will do to you. Like steal all your money. Like use you. Like destroying every single part of you that is unique and beautiful and lovable just so that they can turn you into a domestic drudge who will do what she's told and not ask questions. Believe, me, I KNOW. I've BEEN there. Get out while you still can!

wsh commented on Jan 15 13 at 7:23 pm FLAG FOR ABUSE

he's cheating. leave him.

lev commented on Jan 16 13 at 12:16 am FLAG FOR ABUSE

Breaking up with him tonight. As if there weren't enough reasons already. I love NDC.

OP commented on Jan 16 13 at 4:01 pm FLAG FOR ABUSE

Yay! Good for you!

li commented on Jan 16 13 at 11:06 pm FLAG FOR ABUSE

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