Nerve Dating Confessions

thats the difference between letting go, and not being able to. When you can let go you can accept that you'll never know, and you can accept your own narrative and explanation, even if you recognize that it is limited to your perspective alone. When you're mature you can learn to keep the meaner, nastier parts of that story and those conclusions to yourself - because you know how terribly one sided they are. However when you get stuck constantly seeking an answer, trying to find some resolution, you will always make the kinds of choices which bring you back into conflict with that person, over the same old things.

Yeah, more or less. I guess I don't really like my side of the story at all, so I wish I had some other perspective. I have no nasty or mean feelings at stake here, quite the opposite. But all the same sometimes strong positive feelings have to be let go too. It seems like a waste to let them go, but it also seems like a bigger waste to have them at all.

well you just have to change that too... which can take a lot of time, and can leave you feeling pretty out of control. I went through a period of pretty mean and nasty things, which pulled me out of the period of time where I wanted to talk, communicate, be open, and try to understand one another. That helped me to solidify my own perspective and recognize that there were many long term problems I had downplayed, trying to be positive and upbeat and hopeful. When, in reality, there were differences. I always tried to overcome those differences and thought that love made anything possible. To get myself over that hope I had to recognize that it was actually hopeless, and thus well and truly over - even if my feelings were not. The proof is in the puddin: you have to first recognize that the relationship imploded on itself, and in the process destructive forces were unleashed to burn it down and salt the earth, and if it had been worthwhile to save it would have been saved. If it had been the right time you would have had the tools and the will to prevent what happened through communicating. Ultimately after going through a deep dark tunnel of anger hatred, bitterness and some regret, which I wilfully unleashed - I could resolve my feelings and recover myself, abandon the negative; love is stronger, but it was a feeling which no longer threatened to make me vulnerable and succumb to impulse, habit or foolish hope. Its something that I can now look at much more dispassionately, which has greatly improved my ability to function and facilitated other resolutions.