Nerve Dating Confessions
January 12, 2:28PM As a woman, I was socialized to put others needs and emotions before my own. As a girlfriend, I am extremely giving--I pay for dinners, buy thoughtful birthday and Christmas presents, give lots of head and try to be GGG in the bedroom, provide a listening ear and emotional support. I've cared deeply about all of my boyfriends, but the thing that inevitably hurts me the most is when he shows me through his actions (or lack of) that he cares much less about me and chiefly about himself. CAN RELATE (13) CAN'T RELATE (2) FLAG FOR ABUSE
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6 comments

I'm heartbroken--should I change and start only caring about myself, or is there someone out there who gives as much as I do?

OP commented on Jan 12 13 at 2:29 pm FLAG FOR ABUSE

You should keep being who you are if you enjoy being who you are. Make wiser decisions about the men you date sooner. You know what you want so make it known and stand by that. Soon someone will come who is who you want but stick to your guns and keep your eyes open.

dfg commented on Jan 12 13 at 2:44 pm FLAG FOR ABUSE

I am the same way, but I am a guy. I give too much too early. Best way is to censor yourself back a bit, it's hard, but this way you don't give out too much of yourself. Eagerness/passion is tough to restrict in yourself

ag commented on Jan 12 13 at 3:13 pm FLAG FOR ABUSE

If someone loves you for what you do for them, is that really someone you want in your life? Stop trying so hard, and develop some self respect and standards.

ncb commented on Jan 12 13 at 5:25 pm FLAG FOR ABUSE

It seems like you're doing these things with some expectations (and I don't want to imply that this is a bad thing, just a human thing). Consider what you want in return--recognition and appreciation? reciprocation that you don't have to ask for? Is it possible that your partner does things for you that he considers a sacrifice that you don't know about? Or that he might respond to an honest conversation/negotiation? IMO, we women sometimes get hung up on the "shouldn't have to ask" thing, while men expect to ask for what they want, and may think that if you don't ask for it, you don't really want it.

kia commented on Jan 12 13 at 6:18 pm FLAG FOR ABUSE

Take care of yourself a bit more. Really, do you simply feel guilty when you don't do all these nice things to people ? You shouldn't feel OBLIGED to, you should do it because you WANT to. Also, people care about different things. So for your boyfriend, a thoughtful present might not mean as much as an hour in the sack. Also, let's hope your bf is self centred. This can be changed. Selfishness, less so. Bring it up. It takes two to be in a relationship.

meh commented on Jan 12 13 at 11:34 pm FLAG FOR ABUSE

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