Nerve Dating Confessions

Flirting is usually sexually loaded conversation. That should make it clear. It should be understood if you go back to a guy's house what his intentions are- that doesn't mean you have to put out, though. What sorts of things are you doing when you get to the house? Is there kissing and petting and then it stops, or do you start playing checkers and she gets shocked when you touch her leg?

If I'm flirting with a guy it's just banter. Maybe I like you but I'm not sure if I want to sleep with you. If you go back to someone's house it's generally assumed that the person is interested in you but just because they've flirted doesn't mean they want sex. If I meet a guy on night one and I go back to his place, depending on the hour, I may be there because the talking and flirting was so good i'm not ready to leave, maybe i want some kisses too. If it's really late/early, then I'm definitely planning/expecting/wouldn't be surprised by an approach for sex. It could be a number of things though. Perhaps they're naive and aready ready for sex on the first night, maybe they just want to kiss and explore, maybe they really like talking to you, maybe your apartment is really gross or it smells like cheese and they get turned off, perhaps your dog looked at them weird, maybe they realized too late that you're expecting more than they're willing to share, maybe you come off too much like a friend and they don't see themselves having sex with you. There are a million variables. I think if you want one night stands there is a way to say so up front so that you're not offensive or creepy but simply asking/telling your expectations because you don't want to cross any lines they may have that you're unaware of.

The first night is usually too soon for me. Of course, it's unlikely that I would invite you over or go over your house the first night. I would say that most women are not comfortable having sex with someone they just met.

Make clear what your intentions are, preferably not in a sleazy way. Find out what they are looking for and see if they are the same. A lot of women enjoy flirting because it's fun, and only want that.

No, let them know your intentions in a sleazy way! That's how you'll find the ones that are good to go the first night! ... For the record, I've thought I was just hanging out with guys before, and then they put aggressive moves on me once I'm there, just because I'm nice and they thought that was flirting back. It's not. If I want you, I'm not coy! And they do it once I'm good and drunk. Which is fucked up. So I've stopped drinking one on one with new guy friends, nothing good comes of it. I don't need booze to put out, and I don't need some pretense of just hanging out. Male friends have told me that hanging out alone = potential sex opportunity for all men.

When you ask her to come back to your place, make sure you're doing it the right way. A touch can say a lot. A hand on her waist and a whisper in her ear should make it pretty clear. Plus, a certain attitude, like you can't take your eyes off her for long. Make her feel sexy, and she'll be more likely to reciprocate.