Nerve Dating Confessions

Tough call, and I am on the other side of the fence here. I am the divorced guy (no kids though). I met a girl that was really sweet and I had a lot in common with, but she was concerned that I was still legally married (divorce had been filed, was just in the mandated holding pattern). My marriage had been over for 6 months at the time. I was up front with her from the instant there was a bit of a connection, and told her everything she wanted to know. She was looking for a husband essentially, so she kind of backed off, which I totally understood. So it comes down to what are you looking for, what are all the circumstances of his divorce, is he providing you with all the information you need. On one hand he is divorced for a reason, so there is concern for that. The other hand, sometimes a failed relationship can make you wiser and better for future relationships (I would like to think that is where I fall). It's all about risk management, how much are you willing to take a chance on that connection. So really, there is no good answer, good luck with whatever path you choose.

thank you for your thoughtful response. while someone to spend my life with is preferred, marriage is not a goal, and I can understand someone who went through a divorce not wanting to get married again. He was with his ex for 9 years(that's something, right?) he is very open about everything, I haven't asked specifically what happened,but from what he said they seemed to just drift apart.

I was with my ex for 15 yrs (since high school) and married 7. I do want to get married again. I told the girl I was talking with that while I wasn't specifically looking for my next wife, I was open to just letting things happen, and if a ltr developed then it was meant to be. And my situation was similar in that we ended up being different people than when we got together (since we were young). That led to some unfortunate events. But we walked away amicably. No bitterness. Maybe give him a few more dates, maybe get a better feel for how he really feels about his ex and divorce. And if he absolutely doesn't want to get married and that is important to you, then maybe walk away, don't get into it thinking you will change his mind. Tread lightly moving forward. And trust your gut, it is usually right.

Maybe in this time where he's putting his life back together, (divorce sucks, it can really mess you up) you can become a good friend. Then we he has it all sorted out,, more.