Nerve Dating Confessions

And all my girlfriends, getting treated with contempt and struggling to not get attached or chase or crowd a guy too much, trying to take sex where they can get it as a substitute for love, or stuck in relationships where they are treated like mothers, or furniture. Adult love is so depressing..

Yeah, it's a real shame. Those dinosaurs were SO romantic. That's why the literal translation of Tyranosaurus Rex is "king of the nice guys."

Consider all the women who confess here that they want to be treated exactly like they fantasize, who confess that they have counts of dozens, who confess that they want devotion and commitment only from a guy with much better options, all in exchange of exactly nothing, when it is not worse than nothing. Sure, having a pussy can give a strong sense of entitlement to receive massive investment from men while giving nothing or worse back, but fortunately the sort of men who get women wet can get pussy so easily, and the situations above happen. Do you think that men who can get laid easily aren't those who understand best what kind of sense of entitlement they are dealing with? Also romance was never that strong, there was no golden age of romance, but at least once upon a time childbearing made women try harder to motivate men to support them, and made women more worth investing, and provided a common investment or adversity between father and mother. With that largely gone women should work hard to motivate men to invest in them, especially the men who are out of their league who turn them on, but pussy is not even remotely enough, especially for those men to whom most women throw themselves.

Interesting thoughts bhu. I wonder if some women are finally starting to realize that feminism has become their enemy and will keep them from getting that "investor" in their lives.

tl;dr version: that's what happens when women expect a lot without giving back anything but sex and are only interested in men way hotter than themselves who can get sex without effort. Men offer just sex when offered only sex, especially hot men who get lots of offers of sex from less hot women.

MGW it is not really "classical" feminism that gives women a sense of entitlement to get anything they wish from hotter men in exchange of nothing or just sex. it is delusional egotism and maladjustment to our interesting times of transition between eras, and the slow motion fall of the ginarchy, Some popular aspects of recent second or third wave feminism are a consequence of that too, and they feed back too, but even most non-feminist women are on the same attitude.

I am a feminist and an abuse survivor, which I take a lot of shit for both on NDC and in my everyday life. I do NOT want an investor. I want a COMPANION. A PARTNER. Someone to do the daily grind with who finds something to be happy about and a reason to keep going every day. Life is hard enough without all the bullshit men and women put one another through. I see both men and women acting life self absorbed idiots and it drives me crazy. All I want is one person I can wake up to and count on to help me every day. Someone I can be there for too, every day. I know, I know, totally radical and idealistic and unworkable concept, amiright?

well WSH you would like a reciprocal investment. problem is for most men the experience is that women don't want to invest in them unless they are much hotter than the woman, and if they do invest first in the woman they are taken for suckers, or at best as girlfriends. there have been quite a few confessions here of women who left their husbands because they had become [HAPPY!] housemates, and they wanted the excitement of being royally fucked by a "real man". this is what men have to contend with: so many women who by and large flip from being callous users of those men they don't fancy to being complete patsies to those men who excite them. most of my life I have been one of the latter, and I have been depressed by how servile and obsessed women had been towards me in those times, and it is not because I want a "challenge" or a "bitch". hey, I am a whole person too, not just the dark mysterious stranger of your delusions. the girls I have loved most have been the decent and kind type who appreciated me in a balanced, "I get you and you are sort of pretty ok overall", way. But they are really rare "mutants". Many other attractive men just give up the search and have the attitude the OP describes, and the many unattractive men just put up with being played in the hope of getting an occasional handjob, a terrible miscalculation, or "invest" in blow up dolls or equivalent, as in better alone than in bad company.

So, bhu, what about unattractive women?

The thing that always seems to be missing is the friendship part. Women (and men) are taught that the romantic relationship has a different set of expectations than any healthy friendship. It seems to me that if the social contract could be altered to fit the fact that we are for the most part equal- there would be more, kinder romantic relationships.

I can attest to what bhu is saying. I was married to a beautiful women. We were best friends, we had sex about 3 times a week. We were each others rock. I supported her thru some depression and health problems, never waivered a bit. She supported me when my job got stressful and then when my company closed. We got a long great with each others families, and our families got along great with each other. It was this perfect little existence. Than one day she admits to an affair. I forgave her and wanted to work on it, but she was too overcome by the thrill of being young, wild, and free. As we parted ways she says she loved me, never questioned how much I loved her. She said we had a great marriage, but she was "different" than she once was. And that was that. An it all flipped in what seemed like an instant.

Briffault's law!

@di- never heard of this until now, interesting. One the surface it makes some sense, though I would argue that it goes both ways. Man or woman is not going to stay in a relationship (whether friendly or romantic) where they do not get some "benefit". Human nature. But I believe that is where the validity of that stops. The rest seems to be awfully generalizing and irrelevant and I will probably forget about it in a week. But to play along. I offered plenty of "benefits" (though don't get me wrong, I am not claiming to be the perfect husband, I owned up to my mistakes), the problem was that what she perceived as a Benefit drastically changed. And changed fast.