Nerve Dating Confessions

I think it's over when you're entertaining thoughts of it being over.

Dear "wtf": Are you married? Because I am, and myself and EVERYBODY I've ever known who is married, has wondered if their marriage is good/bad, healthy,dead.. Not much different than a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship. Except in marriage, it's much easier to get bored, and you both are more likely to wonder at some point whether or not it is "over".

@yes, to my mind wondering about the health of one's marriage [your word - "has wondered..."] is NOT the same as perceiving it as being over, and suffering the fears that come from such a perception (as expressed by the OP in rather emphatic terms - terrifying). Perceiving it as being over is the destination I'd expect someone to arrive at AFTER an exhaustive and intensive contemplation (wondering, if you like) of the health of their marriage. But of course it maybe different for you, maybe your marriage is so routinely bad, that an ongoing contemplation of its terminality is the norm for you, and such a 'comfort zone' of contemplation has rendered you numb to what's tolerable, and what's not. I don't know, but it would explain your rejection of my position which isn't as wayward a pov as your reaction would have it.

It's beyond casual wondering. I continually reach a point where I wish we could be friends without the pressure of sex. He's a great guy and should be with someone who has less baggage. Seven years is enough, and I don't want kids. I think I am depraved for wanting to leave, but I feel like a sibling and not a spouse. We married young and I'm not sure if it was the right thing to do. I'm going to lose him forever, but I can't live a lie anymore.

If you want your marriage to succeed, work on it. It's not easy to juggle the "burdens" that come with everyday chores and still have a healthy and happy marriage. But if there are roots there, you can build on those.

I confided in a friend that i thoughy my my marriage was in danger. Shet when told me that when it was over, I would know it. Then a year later, i found out she had bee n sleeping with my husband. Yep...... its over!

I've been in your position, OP. For me, I did start to envision my now-ex happy with someone else. Since I used the word "ex", it's obvious we split up. But it may not be the same for you. I would suggest that it's definitely time to get some help, to see if it's really over or not.

I'm so scared that leaving is a mistake, and I will never find anyone like him again.

A) Get counseling, for YOURSELF B)Don't let fear of being alone keep you in an unhappy/unworkable marriage C) You don't believe it now, but believe me, there's life after marriage. A lot of life!